General Policies and Suggestions

Get a notebook (probably 3 ring binder is best) dedicated to this class and keep all your stuff in it, starting with the syllabus and this information sheet. (Sounds like something anybody would already know to do, but a gentle reminder can’t hurt)

Always read the directions, carefully and thoroughly.

Double-check your answers.

Flash cards work.

Yes, you have to read the text.

Yes, you really need to take notes.

Yes, it’s all going to be on the test (or at least may be).

Yes, I’ll try to get a study guide together for each test in a somewhat timely fashion.

No, we are not going to dismiss class early.

Do not be late, do not be absent, do not leave early, and never, ever, under any circumstances miss an exam. Well, OK, it is better to be late than absent, and it is better to leave early than be absent, but understand it is disruptive and might be considered rude if it happens often. It is also, well, pointless I suppose, to sleep in class, although not disruptive, as long as you don’t snore.

I understand that sometimes the interstate is backed up, the car just up and died, your mother, brother, father, sister, child, significant other, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, dog, cat, bird, fish, ferret, hamster, mouse, rat, snake, horse, other farm animal, or even you yourself got sick, hospitalized, jailed or otherwise taken out of commission, you lost your daycare, you lost your job, you lost your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, lover, casual dalliance, you lost your mind and took off to the beach and maxed out your credit card because you just couldn’t take it anymore, you’ve got an appointment, job interview, interview with your parole officer, sentencing hearing, meeting with your lawyer, social worker, therapist, realtor, banker, stockbroker, fashion consultant, contractor, wedding consultant, priest, you’re going out of town to a meeting for your job, on a vacation, on your honeymoon, you’ve been shipped out to Bosnia, Saudi, Afganistan, Iraq, Ft. Gordon, you’ve got to host the Valentine’s Day party for your child’s class, chaperone a field trip, go to the bathroom, or just have a smoke. I know these things. So since they’re going to happen, to YOU, at some point in the semester, don’t miss a class you don’t absolutely have to. Put your life on hold for now. Postpone the wedding (what were you thinking, scheduling a wedding and registering for classes? You thought you maybe wouldn’t be nuts by wedding day?). Quit smoking. Stop drinking so much coffee.

My latest makeup policy is don't miss my exams. I probably will use some combination of the final and some extra questions to replace the big fat zero I'm going to put in my grade book if you aren't here for an exam.

No, you may not drop your lowest score.

Yes, the final is comprehensive. No, you may not exempt the final.

Extra credit? EXTRA CREDIT???? You must be joking. If you’ve got an A you’ve got all the credit you need, and if not there is still plenty of regular credit lying around for you to get.

All exam questions require the best answer.

All exams will be multiple choice, probably. Well, maybe not. Ok, so I’ll probably get at least one short answer/essay question in there. Memorizing facts is great, but I expect you to be able to think as well.

Answers should be recorded on the printed exam as well as on the scantron sheet, in case there is a scoring error. This means it would be a good idea to record your name in both places as well.

Typos are a luxury afforded the instructor.

Poorly worded, ambiguous, and/or misleading questions are also luxuries afforded the instructor, however, any arguments for alternative answers will be entertained and points awarded based on scientific merit (in other words, you have to know what you are talking about).

Bonus questions, if given, will usually be short answer/essay, require that you think, are graded subjectively, and are not open for discussion.

I don’t have to scale tests because the vast majority of questions I use have been proven to be legitimate, so don’t hatch a class plot to skew the class average low and expect a scale. I can too fail everybody.

I do not assign grades based on a bell curve. You could all conceivably make an A. Or not.

89.5% rounds up to 90%. 89 doesn't necessarily round up to 90. 88 never rounds up to 90.

Eating and/or drinking in class is officially prohibited and usually annoying to someone, however, we will attempt to allow it in a limited fashion until we get complaints. I will complain if you have deliveries made to class, require silverware, expect condiments to be provided, or bring in so much food that you have no room to take notes. Also no stinky food.

The number of correct answers divided by the total number of questions, multiplied by 100, is your percentage, from which you can determine your grade. For example, if there were 63 questions on the test, and you got 58 correct answers, your score would be (58¸63) x 100, or (.9206) x 100, which equals 92.06, which is an A. This is basic arithmetic, so don't ask "How can I figure out what I got?" or I will assume you have no business being in this class. If you have been having a hard time deciding what your next tattoo should be this is it (The Part Divided by The Whole Times 100 Equals Percent).

Don't lose this information sheet. There will be a pop quiz on it. Additional copies cost $5.00.

There may be some kind of homework/pop quiz setup designed to force you to read the material before lecture. You must come to class prepared or this will turn into a nightmare in a hurry.

If you don't know anyone in the class I suggest you exchange phone numbers with someone, because you will more than likely miss something at some point in the semester. Actually you should form study groups that include both strong and weak students (this helps everybody – some of you guys who think you know the material find out you don’t know it quite as well as you’d like when you try to explain it to someone else).

Complaining is allowed if done in a reasonable fashion, whining is not. Argument for the sake of argument is tiresome and not tolerated very well.

It is OK to be nice to the instructor; contrary to popular belief it is not brown-nosing (even if it is it won’t work). It is not a good idea to flay me with attitude. I mean, I won’t hurt you or anything, but why introduce any more tension to the process when the information overload is going to kill you anyway?

These are the rules, which are by no means all-inclusive, but will suffice as a general guide. Special circumstances will affect us all, and when they do, we can deal with them, as long as we are in communication. I can't help you if you don't let me know that you need help.